Lucky number '13

Every January 1st, most people take stock of their lives from the past year. We look back upon what we accomplished and failed, our estimations of where we would be one year from this moment. And so, the  year begins with bleary eyes, red from a late party the night before. Eyes that are either full of hope for the coming year, or full of fear from the magnitude of it all.

I have a unique situation. My birthday falls a week-and-a-half after the new year, and so I have a week-and-a-half that separates two new years. In the past, these eleven days have served a variety of purposes. Sometimes, this time is a grace period. No resolutions were formed on New Year's Day and now I have some time to think about it. In other years, this time can serve as a mulligan. In eleven short days I fall of the resolution wagon and get a do over (which never sticks) on my birthday.

This year, the familiar resolutions are here: lose weight, read more, pray more. But this year, my aim is to get to December 31st 2013 and look back on the previous 365 days and be content with my progress or lack thereof. I can't replace my ambition or desire to improve, but I can control my response to the outcome. To me, a content life is a strong, resilient life. The lows are not measured by the highs, but that my response to the lows is determination and a faith that I will be ok.

2013 can be a great year. I'm sure there will be sorrow along the way, but who knows what we will discover in science, what will be created in the arts, what a child will say next, what example an elder will set. Oh yes, 2013 is a year of endless possibility. You and I will blaze the path for the year. Those endless possibilities will become more finite and detailed as we move from day to day, week to week, and month to month. So, with each passing moment we lose the endlessness, but gain perspective (like backing away from a mosaic).

With a content life, I will be able to risk more of myself, because I am risking less. The chances I take can be bigger because the risk to my self-image is low. Contentment begets a strange combination of confidence and humility. These juxtaposed ideas ensure the lows are leveled out and the highs are reachable.

So for the next week-and-a-half, think of me as I struggle with this idea of contentment and the surety it brings to act, and my thoughts will be for you and your daily strivings.

If I live the life I'm given, I won't be scared to die. -The Avett Brothers.